I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Girls should come with a carfax report
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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