I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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