I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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