What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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