Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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