tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
