You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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