Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
