I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize