were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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