i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
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last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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