Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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