ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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