we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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