he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
