I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?