My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
