DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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