Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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