Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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