no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize