we're blogging at a bar
I seem to have left my pride at pride
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
