I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
