The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
