her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
