and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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