You made me cry and you don't even care
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
