That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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