I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
