Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
