we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize