So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..