woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
