Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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