If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Its about making memories worth repressing
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
