Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
