I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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