I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize