You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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