i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
