Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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