We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
