i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
