Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
