a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
