You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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