i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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