If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize