Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
