she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
