I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
