I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
