we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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