Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
