been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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