She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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