is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
