How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
