I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
