Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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