Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
