I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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