awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The power of my boobs compel you
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
