I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
