Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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