So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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